~HEAVY BAGS?!~

Yesh, today is Friday!! Which means I can go home after my classes! Piano, I'm coming home! Oh, before that, unfortunately, I couldn't sleep well yesterday night. In short, I couldn't sleep well during the first week in hostel. The earliest I could get myself into a dream was around 3.00 a.m. Today I was quite worried that I could not be in time for my 8 a.m. class. For 10 a.m. classes, there wouldn't be much of a problem because I could get myself out of bed at around 9.00 a.m without much problems. After my mother gave me a morning call I would usually fall alseep again, until my alarm clock rings at 9.00 a.m. For today, I woke up right after my mother called me, and thought of many ways to prevent myself from closing my eyes again. Whenever I was in a 'dangerous' position( i.e, hugging a pillow with my head buried into it) , I quickly sat up and find something else to do, like packing up my things, reading maths stuff etc... I went out a bit too early this time, perhaps too worried to be late for this class.

When I set foot on the Resource Centre, there was only a few people there: two students in their nurse uniforms sitting outside the Accomodation Office, chatting in Chinese, one black guy scanning the bulletins, and thats all. I checked the timetable again, fearing that it might change again without any notice. Luckily, it hadn't, or at least not without prior notice. Still too early to enter the classroom, I wandered around, looking randomly at those notice boards to find something worth a read. Later on, I went upstairs and saw no one. It was so empty, and it sent me a chill down my spine. Some rooms were dark, and they looked so eerie to me. I leaned against the wall outside the room, and one of my coursemate arrived there a few minutes later. He went in, and I followed. I reached for my seat at the second/third row( I couldn't remember, its at the front) and prepared myself for the class, while I heard him complaining about the heat after failing to find the air-conditioner switch. Troubled by the heat, he went out and I was alone for a moment till the crowd came. My group members came as usual, with their lack of interest in studying. The Physics lecturer was quite short, no, shes very short indeed. But shes definitely better than that blurr existence. She thought about stuffs which we had already learnt during our days in SPM, so basically this was a revision, a boring one. A revision, to me, could be done anytime at hostel, and I expected to learn something harder, something that could quench my thirst for knowledge, and my interest in Physics and Maths. I got the answers for the first assignment from my group members, but those were... a bit pitiful to say. Only one person did his work in the most standard way, and the others simply copied stuffs from the module itself without giving it a second thought. How awful to be with lazy people. Guess it couldn't be helped. I went back to my hostel to pack things up, and waited again for the 11.00 a.m. class. Today, its a Maths test. The blurr existence didn't give us a clear test scope... jeez... After the whole of us got into the room, she went in and asked all of us to get out. WTF?! I was confused at first, but then when I knew that she was arranging tables and setting our seats, I felt funny. Whats all the fuss doing things like this? She wasted our 30 minutes before we eventually started the test, and it was a whooping 1 minute for 1 question. AND without a calculator. Isn't it funny?! A MATHS TEST WITH CALCULATORS PROHIBITED. Lmao. Fine then, guess I had to use the ancient method of dividing, multiplying, and stuff. Pretty tricky, but still fine. We went out at 12.00 p.m, and I went back to hostel again, since its too crowded at the tuckshop. Although I was pretty hungry, and my heart yearned for food so much, but I'd decided that I would have my lunch at 1.00 p.m., after the crowd was gone. But then, my sis said she would 'tapao' food there, and so I asked her to help me 'tapao' also, and I went there to take the food.

After ariving there, she was holding her assignment paper, and she was about to find her lecturer and submit it. Jeez, since I was already there, eating there and then ought to be the most suitable choice. I ordered Wan Tan Mee again, and ate alone in the midst of the crowd. And then, I saw a few of my coursemates, two of them were the Class Reps. I ignored them, and continued devouring my mee with my mighty jaws. ''Are you alone?'' asked the Class Rep. ''Yeah,'' I replied, still eating like a hungry dog. ''What's your name?'' he asked again, after sitting down with his friends with me. '' Han~ Chuen~,'' my mouth was so full that I couldn't pronounce my name in Chinese that loudly and accurately, and so he moved his ear nearer. I finished chewing my food, and said again, ''Han Chuen,'' in Chinese, and he heard it finally. It seemed that they had ordered for their lunch, but the person making it was pretty slow. I continued eating while they chatted a bit. Later, they went to the stall and waited there, as an attempt to give the cook a bit of pressure, so that he would cook faster, as they said lol... I finished my food, and since there was nothing much to do at a crowded canteen, I left after telling one of the Class Rep's friend that I'm leaving. ''Woah, you are leaving already? So fast?'' his expression tone indiated that he was a little shocked. ''Yeah, bye-bye,'' I said goodbye too softly, and I doubted that he could hear it.

I was useless, huh? Theres a word that can perfectly describes my condition in relationship: HOPELESS. What happened to me? Can't I make friends at all? Although I didn't talk much to them, but in my heart, I was very grateful that they could accept me, and attempted to make me their friend. And I meant it. At my hostel, I wondered what they would think if they found out that I had left already. Surely it would be something like this,'' That newcomer, he's surely a weird person.'' ''Is he really that unsocialable?'' ''Does he hate making friends with us?'' '' Oh, thats quite an attitude for a newcomer, being so proud and reject being a friend with us''. I thought they wouldn't talk to me anymore nor treat me like their friend, but then when I hauled my luggage, which consisted of a bag with my important things, a laptop bag, and a bag full of clothes, to the bus stop to wait for my sister, the Class Rep was there too, and he talked to me again, in a friendly tone. ''Going home?'' he asked in Chinese, and I casually answered,'' yeah..'' and continued reading the novel. Soon, the bus came, and the crowd waiting there rushed into the bus. I'd got separated from my sister,and I sat a few seats behind her. At 2.45 p.m, the bus arrived at the KTM station, and I bought my ticket before heading to the terminal with my sister. A person showed me a familiar look, and he said hi to me. I smiled back at him without thinking who was he actually. He looked kinda familiar but I just couldn't tell who exactly he was. Whatever, its not my top priority now. I was on constant alert for pick-pockets or bad-looking guys. I didn't want my belongings to be stolen or robbed by anyone. I thought of myself as an easy target, since I was holding that much of load, it would be hard for me to chase someone that stole things from me. So, after listening to them talking for a moment, the train came and I dashed to my sister. The journey was quite long. We reached Sentral, and changed trains. When I was in the train that heads to Pelabuhan Klang, I was standing beside a group of young Malay students with their tudungs. They seemed to gossip a lot, and I didn't care about them, until I noticed that at some point they were talking about me. I had a glance at one of the gossipers and she kept quiet instantly and remained frozen for a moment. Perhaps it was my intimidating look, or is it she feeling guilty for gossiping? Later when I looked to the other side, she started to gossip again, this time in a much lower voice, and they whispered. I didn't care about them much, based on their looks, they were nothing but some naive Primary school students. Later on, I got my seat, and 2 of them went down. It was so problematic to haul my three bags around, up and down the bus and train... And they were so heavy! Troublesome... We waited for my mother to fetch us back, but she was pretty late... And I was the victim, my shoulders being tortured by the two bag belts pulling... After what seemed to be an eternity, the car finally came! I dashed into it right away, and as soon as the load was off, my shoulder felt the pain instantly. OWh......

I reached home, and ate somethin before I played the piano. Hehehe... Piano, muakz. My eldest sister haven't solve the internet problem yet, and theres no connection still. Without internet, life was so boring in my house. Theres nothing much to do, really. Thats it for today.

25th Jan 2008