~AND THERE WAS THE CC TRIP~

Yesterday, I couldn't sleep well, again... Its not uncommon anymore, since I had been having the same problem ever since I moved into the hostel. Then, I planned to watch a bit of anime before I sleep, but after watching a few episodes, I couldn't stop watching, I was too eager to know the ending. Finished watching ''To Heart'', and the anime was somewhat good at the end, but not satisfying enough. The last scene where the Maid-robot went missing, and was later found in the amusement park, and all of her friends came to save her, was quite touching but it didn't drain my tears. Anyway, its storyline was okay. Woke up at 7.00 a.m. today, and waited my group members at the Resource Centre, as there was a replacement class for Physics at 8 a.m.. But then, my friends didn't know where the class would be held, and so they planned to wait at the RC and follow the other people. At 7.55 a.m., no one was there, and I began to suspect that the class was cancelled, somehow. At the end, it was cancelled. Jeez, wasted my precious sleep time... What am I going to do now? go back to continue my sleep? Nah, I was fully conscious already, going back to sleep would take a very long time... I went to borrow a game from my friend, and he went over to my room, since he had nothing else to do, too. I installed the game, and watched Rozen Maiden ep.1 with him, although I didn't think he would like to watch anime. But, what could I do? I am generally untalkative, and being with me was very boring. We didn't talk that much, and watched the ep silently. After that, he went back to prepare for the next class. I got myself ready, and waited for Kim Chuan with him. Jeez, Kim Chuan was sure to be sleeping... He asked us to go first. Later, it was the Maths class, and again I had to endure that blurr existence for 2 hours.

After Maths class, my group and I ate lunch together, and later on we went to the CC nearby, with other DAIR students. Really, there was way too much people -.-'' 13 people, and 3 couldn't play in every game. I performed quite well in the warm-up match as a Lich, but in the real match I was pretty weak using the Rexxar... Still, the late game Troll saved the day, :P. Later on, we played awp CS together, and its pretty fun, since there was quite a lot of people playing. De dust 2 was next, and I enjoyed it a lot. At 5.10 p.m, we went out and waited for the bus at a mamak restaurant nearby. We didn't order anything but all of us sat there, and that pissed the shopkeeper off. I could hear them grumbling in an irritated tone in Indian, and so I went out to the front of the shop with some other guys. Alas, the bus came, and we returned safely. Anyways, I saw a few interesting shops there, like comic shops and stuffs... Maybe I will visit them next time I go there. It was raining a little, and Teck Ken was waiting for his parents to fetch him at the bus stop. I was waiting for the rain to stop, and we went into the hall to see people playing badminton. I analyzed one of the players, about his strengths, weaknesses, and tactics. We didn't talk at all, and when its 5.45 p.m, I went to the canteen to have my dinner. I ate two dishes today, so that I wouldn't feel hungry at night. Took my bath later, and fell aslept ar 8.00 p.m. because of both mental and physical strain :P.

29th Jan 2008

~ HAPPY? PERHAPS...~
Last Saturday I was too exhausted to write my blog... It was that accursed modem -.-'' I went to the Digital Mall with my mother in the afternoon. The scorching sun was yearning for our sweat. Once we went in, we were instantly surrounded by the crowd. Nowadays, it seemed that ICT was a necessity for everyone that had a decent lifestyle. We surfed around every floor, and took some catalogue to check the prices here. I was aiming for a Notebook with high specifications so that I could use it for a very very long time without upgrading it or buying another one. So, my budget was RM 5 000.00 . We walked to the top floor, and I saw one Notebook with very good specs, but its price was pretty low, only RM 3 599. But then, since its colour and design didn't suit my taste, hence we surfed around again. After checking most of the shops, I found that the Notebook's specifications was the best and its price was very good.
We went to the top floor again, and consulted the salesman. He too, said that the specs was very good for that price, and I thought about the design and stuffs... Jeez, I hated the design, A LOT. But then he said that was standard, and it didn't have other colours. Guess it couldn't be helped, then. I'll had to bear with the ugly design -.-'' And so, I hoped that the specifications would be good enough to cover up its ugly design. After adding everything together, the total was RM 4 077. I was a bit discouraged to buy that dam thing, but then since the specs was good, so I bought it... After sending it to the technician nearby to install the OS and fix the 1 GB ram into the notebook, I read the catalogues again, and soon I noticed that there was another notebook with the same price, but with better specs than mine... I began regretting, but there's no use regretting now, as the transaction was already completed... I was pretty pissed off, but I couldn't be blamed at all, because I didn't know that there was a better notebook than the one I bought when I decided to buy it.Fine........ I took a deep breath afterward, to calm down, and to pray that my laptop was good enough already. Later on, we searched for the internet modem, and I went to the CD shop to find some anime that I wanted to watch. Geez, they didn't have them there. Bought a D-Link Modem, and that salesman said that it was pretty easy to configure it, and so I tried to fix it myself when I reached home afterwards. But it seemed that the connection had some problem, and the configuration couldnt be done, so my family and I went out for dinner, and I continued fixing it later, but my efforts were in vain as the D-Link just wouldn't budge. My sisters attempted to fix it, but it ate up a lot of our time, and we tried until 2.00 a.m. Sheesh, I forgot that I had to finish my assignment, but then without internet my source of information for the assignment would be very limited. Later, my elder sister's laptop successfully configured it, and her laptop could access the internet already... And yet, we couldn't go online at once, because we didn't have the router to divide the connections. Gosh, I planned to do my assignment at the cyber cafe at USJ 4 tomorrow, and I slept peacefully.
At Sunday, I woke up at 11.00 a.m., and I rushed to the cc to finish my assignment. It was quite important for me to finish this assignment as good as possible, so that I could gain some trust from my group members. They were not the material for studying, and they were not those hard-working ones, and so most of the answers they submitted was analysed and classified by me before I actually typed them down into the real thing. At the end, I was the one who did the most things, despite me being the newcomer who had missed two weeks of lectures. Fine, settled things up, and went back to print those papers out. Later on, I went to Sunway Pyramid with my mother. My objective, to buy tonnes of clothes, a little bit of trousers, socks, shoes, and a few anime series to watch at my hostel. Most things were bought without much of a trouble, but that damned computer... I was quite irritated because it was not my computer, after all. And yet, I was the one carrying it around in the shopping complex to send it for ''repairs''. The funny thing was, I wore a rather loose, short pants as I planned to buy clothes today, and wearing loose and easy-to-take-it-off shirt so that it would be more convenient when I wanted to try the clothes out. But then, it was too loose that the weight of my wallet and mobile pulled it down whenever I walked. As I walked more, the pants fell lower, and I had to pull it back up occasionally. However, it was quite an embarassing act to do it in the public, but I didn't think that anyone would be that free to notice every action of mine ;P . The anime series that I bought are : To Heart, Kanon which I planned to watch from the very beginning, and Rozen Maiden, KiddyGrade which I selected them randomly. The hunt for goods was over, and we returned home with physical and mental exhaustion. Later, I packed my luggage and bathed before heading backto my hostel.
Monday, I woke up at 8.00 a.m by myself, although I told my brain to wake up at 9.00 a.m. Fine then, I remained on bed, drifting in and out of consciousness randomly. Later, when the clock showed 9.00 a.m., I had finally got myself up, and prepared for class. The morning class had nothing special, but its quite interesting to learn about the angular momentum and stuff. Later on, I ate my lunch with the Class Rep and gang again. I sat beside their table voluntarily, and they kinda accepted me. We talked a bit, and nothing was wrong. When I returned to my room, the downloads were did, and I managed to finish watching Onegai! Sensei. It was not really that good to me, not good at all if compared to Ouran High School Host Club. I was looking forward to the other series, and I started watching To Heart first, since it was the one I bought from Anime Tech at Sunway Pyramid. It was a little boring for the first ep, and then after that it was quite touching, though. I thought I could rest for the rest of the day, because there was no class in the evening. At soon as I was about to sleep at around 3.15 p.m, Kim Chuan (one of my fellow groupmembers) SMS-ed me and told me that there was a class going on already, at room R305. I was like, shocked?! WTF why my timetable didn't have that?! I packed everything, and chiong-ed to the room immediately. I knocked the door a little, and went in without thinking much about the possibility of me being humiliated or something. I didn't care about my feeling of embarassment, and just walked to my group there. Then, I found out that there was no more empty seats left, and I had to carry a table and a chair to make myself a seat -.-'' What a bad situation to be in , especially when I was late. O well, I got to the front to get myself a table and a chair, but unfortunately I had to move along the window, which had a lot of those hanging pieces that were joined together(I don't know the actual name of these kinds of window). My body brushed past those pieces, and thus producing some noise. Those people behind started to give some ''woo...'' but I didn't care, perhaps I was too tired temporarily, caused by my dash to the room. The lecturer helped me by saying, '' You guys didn't lend him a hand, and still making such a noise over there... etc etc'' In my heart, I said nvm... Just leave me alone, and I will be fine. And then, I sat down, listening to the teachings, and waited for my heartbeat rate to decrease to the normal level. I was quite uncomfortable to sit there while my heart was beating so fast. (wow, I thought I would feel humiliated and embarassed but I didn't. It was the first time that I didn't feel embarassed of humiliated even though I should, and its quite a great success to me, to quit being shy, and to be sporting). Eventually, I calmed down, and asked my group members about this class. They said this was an ordinary class, and I asked for Chin's timetable to compare his with mine. I edited my version of timetable.(He was another fellow) We chatted a bit, and later there was a tutorial, and I scored only 23 our of 28. Goddam it, I was too careless -.-'' I got wrong at the questions that I shouldn't, my bad. I must redeem myself for this, if not my pride will not be able to forgive me. Later on, I continued watching To Heart, and ate my dinner. The Class Rep and gang really came to visit me tonight, and I was pretty surprised. I didn't know that they were serious about it, because they didn't tell me anything. So, this was a surprise visit, huh..? They came to have a look, and I invited them to come in, although I told them theres nothing much to look here... They was quite amazed that my room was pretty big, not to mention that I was living alone in a twin-sharing room. Jealous jealous lol... Yep, we talked a little only, and they went back as I continued watching. But in my heart, I was touched... Touched that they were so warm to me, to someone that was not important to them at all. What made them willing to befriend with the likes of me? I was a boring person that was generally untalkative, cold, and odd, and yet they were willing to make friends with me, and had even came to visit me, to see how I was... I was sure that my heart was crying, although my eyes weren't. They... will be my good friends, in the future. For that, I'm certain. I wrote this down, before I got myself to sleep, and to go for tomorrow, for a brighter day, and for a brighter future in both my future career, and my relationship. Oyasu mi~

26th, 27th, and 28th Jan 2008

~HEAVY BAGS?!~

Yesh, today is Friday!! Which means I can go home after my classes! Piano, I'm coming home! Oh, before that, unfortunately, I couldn't sleep well yesterday night. In short, I couldn't sleep well during the first week in hostel. The earliest I could get myself into a dream was around 3.00 a.m. Today I was quite worried that I could not be in time for my 8 a.m. class. For 10 a.m. classes, there wouldn't be much of a problem because I could get myself out of bed at around 9.00 a.m without much problems. After my mother gave me a morning call I would usually fall alseep again, until my alarm clock rings at 9.00 a.m. For today, I woke up right after my mother called me, and thought of many ways to prevent myself from closing my eyes again. Whenever I was in a 'dangerous' position( i.e, hugging a pillow with my head buried into it) , I quickly sat up and find something else to do, like packing up my things, reading maths stuff etc... I went out a bit too early this time, perhaps too worried to be late for this class.

When I set foot on the Resource Centre, there was only a few people there: two students in their nurse uniforms sitting outside the Accomodation Office, chatting in Chinese, one black guy scanning the bulletins, and thats all. I checked the timetable again, fearing that it might change again without any notice. Luckily, it hadn't, or at least not without prior notice. Still too early to enter the classroom, I wandered around, looking randomly at those notice boards to find something worth a read. Later on, I went upstairs and saw no one. It was so empty, and it sent me a chill down my spine. Some rooms were dark, and they looked so eerie to me. I leaned against the wall outside the room, and one of my coursemate arrived there a few minutes later. He went in, and I followed. I reached for my seat at the second/third row( I couldn't remember, its at the front) and prepared myself for the class, while I heard him complaining about the heat after failing to find the air-conditioner switch. Troubled by the heat, he went out and I was alone for a moment till the crowd came. My group members came as usual, with their lack of interest in studying. The Physics lecturer was quite short, no, shes very short indeed. But shes definitely better than that blurr existence. She thought about stuffs which we had already learnt during our days in SPM, so basically this was a revision, a boring one. A revision, to me, could be done anytime at hostel, and I expected to learn something harder, something that could quench my thirst for knowledge, and my interest in Physics and Maths. I got the answers for the first assignment from my group members, but those were... a bit pitiful to say. Only one person did his work in the most standard way, and the others simply copied stuffs from the module itself without giving it a second thought. How awful to be with lazy people. Guess it couldn't be helped. I went back to my hostel to pack things up, and waited again for the 11.00 a.m. class. Today, its a Maths test. The blurr existence didn't give us a clear test scope... jeez... After the whole of us got into the room, she went in and asked all of us to get out. WTF?! I was confused at first, but then when I knew that she was arranging tables and setting our seats, I felt funny. Whats all the fuss doing things like this? She wasted our 30 minutes before we eventually started the test, and it was a whooping 1 minute for 1 question. AND without a calculator. Isn't it funny?! A MATHS TEST WITH CALCULATORS PROHIBITED. Lmao. Fine then, guess I had to use the ancient method of dividing, multiplying, and stuff. Pretty tricky, but still fine. We went out at 12.00 p.m, and I went back to hostel again, since its too crowded at the tuckshop. Although I was pretty hungry, and my heart yearned for food so much, but I'd decided that I would have my lunch at 1.00 p.m., after the crowd was gone. But then, my sis said she would 'tapao' food there, and so I asked her to help me 'tapao' also, and I went there to take the food.

After ariving there, she was holding her assignment paper, and she was about to find her lecturer and submit it. Jeez, since I was already there, eating there and then ought to be the most suitable choice. I ordered Wan Tan Mee again, and ate alone in the midst of the crowd. And then, I saw a few of my coursemates, two of them were the Class Reps. I ignored them, and continued devouring my mee with my mighty jaws. ''Are you alone?'' asked the Class Rep. ''Yeah,'' I replied, still eating like a hungry dog. ''What's your name?'' he asked again, after sitting down with his friends with me. '' Han~ Chuen~,'' my mouth was so full that I couldn't pronounce my name in Chinese that loudly and accurately, and so he moved his ear nearer. I finished chewing my food, and said again, ''Han Chuen,'' in Chinese, and he heard it finally. It seemed that they had ordered for their lunch, but the person making it was pretty slow. I continued eating while they chatted a bit. Later, they went to the stall and waited there, as an attempt to give the cook a bit of pressure, so that he would cook faster, as they said lol... I finished my food, and since there was nothing much to do at a crowded canteen, I left after telling one of the Class Rep's friend that I'm leaving. ''Woah, you are leaving already? So fast?'' his expression tone indiated that he was a little shocked. ''Yeah, bye-bye,'' I said goodbye too softly, and I doubted that he could hear it.

I was useless, huh? Theres a word that can perfectly describes my condition in relationship: HOPELESS. What happened to me? Can't I make friends at all? Although I didn't talk much to them, but in my heart, I was very grateful that they could accept me, and attempted to make me their friend. And I meant it. At my hostel, I wondered what they would think if they found out that I had left already. Surely it would be something like this,'' That newcomer, he's surely a weird person.'' ''Is he really that unsocialable?'' ''Does he hate making friends with us?'' '' Oh, thats quite an attitude for a newcomer, being so proud and reject being a friend with us''. I thought they wouldn't talk to me anymore nor treat me like their friend, but then when I hauled my luggage, which consisted of a bag with my important things, a laptop bag, and a bag full of clothes, to the bus stop to wait for my sister, the Class Rep was there too, and he talked to me again, in a friendly tone. ''Going home?'' he asked in Chinese, and I casually answered,'' yeah..'' and continued reading the novel. Soon, the bus came, and the crowd waiting there rushed into the bus. I'd got separated from my sister,and I sat a few seats behind her. At 2.45 p.m, the bus arrived at the KTM station, and I bought my ticket before heading to the terminal with my sister. A person showed me a familiar look, and he said hi to me. I smiled back at him without thinking who was he actually. He looked kinda familiar but I just couldn't tell who exactly he was. Whatever, its not my top priority now. I was on constant alert for pick-pockets or bad-looking guys. I didn't want my belongings to be stolen or robbed by anyone. I thought of myself as an easy target, since I was holding that much of load, it would be hard for me to chase someone that stole things from me. So, after listening to them talking for a moment, the train came and I dashed to my sister. The journey was quite long. We reached Sentral, and changed trains. When I was in the train that heads to Pelabuhan Klang, I was standing beside a group of young Malay students with their tudungs. They seemed to gossip a lot, and I didn't care about them, until I noticed that at some point they were talking about me. I had a glance at one of the gossipers and she kept quiet instantly and remained frozen for a moment. Perhaps it was my intimidating look, or is it she feeling guilty for gossiping? Later when I looked to the other side, she started to gossip again, this time in a much lower voice, and they whispered. I didn't care about them much, based on their looks, they were nothing but some naive Primary school students. Later on, I got my seat, and 2 of them went down. It was so problematic to haul my three bags around, up and down the bus and train... And they were so heavy! Troublesome... We waited for my mother to fetch us back, but she was pretty late... And I was the victim, my shoulders being tortured by the two bag belts pulling... After what seemed to be an eternity, the car finally came! I dashed into it right away, and as soon as the load was off, my shoulder felt the pain instantly. OWh......

I reached home, and ate somethin before I played the piano. Hehehe... Piano, muakz. My eldest sister haven't solve the internet problem yet, and theres no connection still. Without internet, life was so boring in my house. Theres nothing much to do, really. Thats it for today.

25th Jan 2008