Its February already? The time slipped through me without me even noticing...... SPM is very near to me that i could feel the pressure already...

I had a nice dream yesterday! Remarkable, I tried to remember it but couldn't remember all of it. The dream is something about this...:
Let the girl i met be B:

1. I was walking around near a busy street. I saw B at the opposite street and i just waved to her and planned to walk away, without having further conversation with her, as my usual act.

2. She walked to me and said the three words to me, but its soft and i couldn't believe it either. I begged her pardon. She said it once again, this time clearer and i started to believe that she did mean what she said to me.

3. Puzzled for what was happening at first, i regained my thoughts and felt happy instead. Impossible! I laid my hand on her shoulders and we walked along the street.

4. THE END.

Impossible! i was loving someone and i shouldn't be happy when someone else said that to me. I shouldn't had felt happy! Why.... Did I fall in love with B without me even noticing...? I can just hope it to be nothing but a dream...

I am pretty sure that B will feel that i am admiring her secretly becoz i had been looking at her everytime i saw her. I did not mean anything, just that i am admiring her beauty, nothing else. And I'm shy to talk to her... how lame. Such a useless person i am. I looked at her too much that she noticed that i was actually looking at her all the time. In taekwondo trainings she would ask for a partner switch when there was training in pairs. After a few rounds then we would move to left and switch partners. Aw. Am i really that irritating? Or mayb she wanted to play a fool on me because she thought that im admiring her secretly.

But now... After the nice dream i had yesterday, i was confused. I am loving who now? B or my first crush? i cannot tell. If B read this im sure she would know that im talking about her. Woo..


14th...
Today i fell aslept in the class during chemistry and BM... im getting lazier and lazier...! i need to sleep earlier... If not, im not gonna learn anithing in school. I don wanna die when i look at my own SPM results.

I felt that i'm a failure today. In the taekwondo training, she is still the same. I did not know if she's purposely walking in front of me and wanted to see how my eyes turn away from her. Awww... Sometimes i wonder if i can ever change my stupid shyness. I do not know why i feel so shy to even talk to girls. And my communicating skills suck to the extreme. My oral is really lame but in essays and karangan i could write well. I wonder if i could be like one of my frends; he could mix with the girls and has good socializing skills. hope it would change when i go to college next year.